"Do I need God?"

My name is Ashley Neill.  My husband, Peyton, and I have been married for nearly four years.  We have a two year old son, Asher, who loves puzzles and spaghetti. He is structured and might be more mature than me.   We also have a one year old daughter, Norah, who is a confident ball of energy.  She likes to play at 2 a.m. and is not afraid of anything. 

Before you start wondering if they hold hands and smile in matching outfits all of the time,

our daily life looks more like this:



(I have no idea what she is putting in her mouth. I should write about my perfect parenting skills.)

As you can see, I am far from a parenting expert.  I am still potty training, for crying out loud. I do not know which playtime activity or parenting book is best.  I am not prepared to give advice about social media or dating boundaries for teens.  Our kids sometimes throw fits.  Sometimes, they don't get enough sleep.  Sometimes, they eat food off of the floor.  Sometimes,  I am impatient with them.  There are days where we are limping across the "finish line" (what we call bedtime.)  I am currently entertaining my kid with a cartoon as I write this. We are simply trying to figure this parenting thing out.  I have a feeling in 20 years, we will still be trying to figure it out.

I am learning daily, but there is one thing I am already sure of: our kids will not believe what we believe just because we tell them to.

Peyton and I plan to have our kids in church every Sunday that we can.  We plan to present Biblical knowledge and speak truth in our home.  We plan to share the gospel and God's goodness with them.  You may be doing these things, too.  Even still, you and I are not raising kids who will go to church in their adult lives by default.  Being born in the Bible belt does not guarantee that our kids will give their lives to Jesus.

I see my generation asking, "Do we need church?"  Today, 20-somethings are dropping out of churches across America.  As my kids' generation steps up to the parenting plate, they could be asking a different question: "Do we need God?"

Before this weighty responsibility makes us all walk on eggshells,  remember: generations of Christians have already been raised by imperfect people (whew!)

I know this because my parents were not perfect, and I was not always the angel daughter.  Sparing the details, I rolled my eyes, smarted off, and lied to them more than once.  I sunk down in embarassment when they dropped me off at school.  Even now, my parents and I do not agree on everything.

Still, while living under their roof, their God seemed to be real, faithful, and trustworthy in the messiness of life. We went to church every time the doors were open.  I was bored most of the time.  To them, however, Christianity was about more than church attendance.  It was about visiting people on a weeknight just to talk.  It was about bringing meals to those going through a tragedy.  It was about keeping faith when life threw curveballs.  It was about listening to conviction, even when it made them look weird.  It was about admitting when they were wrong.   I grew up learning bible verses and VBS songs. In my boy-crazy teenage years, I would have rather been with friends than at Wednesday night youth group. However, when I grew older and started facing my own decisions and trials, the God my parents loved became real, faithful, and trustworthy to me.

Now, as a 26 year old mom, I value education, health, a clean home, and success.  I want to have laughter, game nights, vacations, and after school activities with my family.  We work hard to give our kids what they need and some of what they want.  I want my kids to have manners and morals. While these are all fruitful things, many people who aren't Christians have them, too.  One day my kiddos will weigh the cost of following Christ, and I want them to have something incomparable to measure.

"Do I need God?"

When Asher and Norah contemplate this question, I pray they remember me and Peyton abiding with Christ in a world that says there is no God.  I pray they remember an unshakable faith in the shifting seasons of life.  I pray they see us ask forgiveness and repent when we stumble into darkness.  I pray they learn what it is to forgive, serve, and remain faithful to an imperfect spouse. I pray they understand how the boundaries we set and the discipline we enforce is out of love, just as our Father does for us. I pray when they come face to face with tragedy, persecution, or a step of faith, they cling to the Anchor they grew up learning about. I pray the Word of God is as alive in their life as it is in ours.

A dear friend once asked me to make a column and write down what I want my kids to value most.  Here is what I wrote:

A relationship with God.

A healthy marriage. 

Worship.

Faithfulness.

Thankfulness.

Kindness.

Giving.

Serving.

Humility.

Learning.

She asked me to make another column.  Next to each word, I was to write how to get my kids to have that value. As I scribbled, I realized my little ones are doing more than hearing my words and watching my actions. Within the safe walls of our home, they get a front row view to what my heart values most.

What drives my decisions? What flows from my mouth?   How do I treat people?  Do I respect my husband? Do I step out in faith? Do I serve?  How do I talk about others?  How do I handle failure?  Do I pray and read the Bible?  How do I react to life's obstacles? Do I give to those in need? Am I aware of my own sin?  Do I love God and love my neighbor as myself?

Do I need God?

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:21