His body. His church. His bride.

I have been in church my whole life.  I have seen a spectrum of beliefs and denominations.  I have been in the "grandest" of churches, with the newest equipment and biggest numbers.  I have been in churches in other countries with dirt floors and no labels of denominations except loving Jesus.  I have been in a church in the bottom part of someone's home where people may face persecution for meeting together.   I am not here to talk about which church is best.  I am here to talk about church. Period.

I said all of the above to show you that I am somewhat of a "church expert."  Not only have I been in church, but my parents were and are heavily involved in theirs.  When I was on my own, I was on leadership with my campus ministry.  Now, my husband in a worship pastor.  I have never just sat on a pew.  And when you see what goes on beyond the pulpit, things can get messy.  Why?  Because church is full of people, and people are messy.

I am writing this for two reasons....the first is to ask for your forgiveness.   I am guilty of slandering the church....the same church that Jesus calls his bride.  I have pointed out flaws and been frustrated beyond belief many Sundays throughout my life because of something said or done.  I get sick of the politics and cliques.  I have crinkled my nose at all the opinions and gossip, without taking the plank out of my own eye.  I have whined about people not loving others when I could have just loved others myself.  I have worried about the way others worship instead of focusing on my own worship.  Please forgive me if I have said anything harsh to you about His church, His people.

The second reason I am writing this is to pour out what God has shown me about His church.  Sunday morning, I asked God to open my eyes to what He sees.  My brain was in chaos (as always after getting myself and my one year old ready and dropped off.)  I walked in, and here came the people and their smiling faces.  All I could think was "I can't pull this off today," so I gave a half-smile and went on.   I was actually annoyed at their joy because I wasn't feeling it.  I sat in my pew and we started worship.  I was halfway singing because I knew my heart was a little hard that morning.  But, then I heard something.  I heard a choir.  Not just a choir at the front, but from the whole church.  I heard worshipping.  Because my husband is on staff, I know a lot of members' stories.  Some of the voices I heard praising God have battled cancer or are battling it right now.  Some have lost children.  Some have been through divorces.  Bitterness.  Abuse.  Death of loved ones.  Drugs.  Children who don't speak to them or denounce God.  People barely scraping by.  New mothers.  Teenagers.  Families that had been ripped apart and put back together.

These are real people...singing at the top of their lungs, worshipping God.  Not because they were "supposed to," but because they have been through the fire and kept their faith.  They are standing on a cliff with no way to go but in the arms of Jesus. They know, without a doubt, that God is Faithful.  In that moment, I felt the love God had for His church.  I also felt the love the church had for God.  It is an intimate communion.  Needless to say, I was brought the my knees.  Lord, forgive me for not loving the church like you do.

I have been in Thailand where there was one Christian in the whole village.  One.  When I think of complaining about church, I will remember that woman.... a single light in a very dark place full of human trafficking and idol worship.  Thank you, Lord, for other believers.

We get a picture of what the early church looked like in Acts 2:42-47:

  "All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord's supper), and to prayer.  A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders.   And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had.  They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need.  They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord's supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity--all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people.   And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved. "

I am blessed to go to Central Baptist Church, where the people truly portray this picture in Acts.  I see people who have plenty give to those who have less every week.  Both sides are filled with joy each time.  I see people opening their arms and homes to outsiders, and enjoying meals and fellowship with each other.  I see people get saved every week.  I am spoiled at my church.  I know it is rare to see a church operating like this.  But it doesn't stop at Central Baptist.  When I step into another church in Tyler, those who know Christ as their Savior are also my brothers and sisters.  When I meet a homeless woman on the streets who loves the Lord, she is my sister.  When I see a children's choir singing to Jesus, they are my little brothers and sisters. When I go across the world and sit with a group of Christians outside under a tree, they are my brothers and sisters.  I may not have anything else in common with them.  I may not even speak their language.  But I have an instant, deep connection with these people that cannot be broken.

Church is a beautiful, woven web of God's people, coming together to worship, teach, and learn with each other.  It is sharpening and encouraging.  It is hands of prayer warriors laying on you as you go through a trial.  It is rejoicing when others rejoice, and mourning when others mourn.  It is meeting each others' needs.  It is learning and growing.  God says we become His children when we call on Him, and in that, believers are family.  We all know families are full of mistakes and personalities that don't get along.   Our own families drive us nuts,  because we know everything good and bad about them.  But still, we are family.

I love my church in Tyler, and I love my brothers and sisters across the globe.  People say the church is full of hypocrites, and I say it is full of people.  People who know they screw up every day and need Jesus.  People who are doing their best to know God and make Him known to others.  If you are looking for perfection, you won't find it in anyone but Jesus.  He came to heal the sick and broken, and that is just what churches are full of: sick and broken believers.

The church is facing persecution and pointed fingers from the world and will face more every day.  I can't be on the pointing fingers side.  I must defend her.  I will not speak against a son or daughter of a King. From this point on, I choose to operate in love instead of judgement.  I choose to tame my tongue, which scriptures say is full of deadly poison (James 3:8.)   I choose to encourage and ask what I can give instead of what I can get. This is my church, and we are one body, here for the same purpose:  to love God and love others.

..."And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.  The second is equally important:  Love your neighbor as yourself.  No other commandment is greater than these."  Mark 12:30-31

Make it Count

There are so many choices when it comes to parenthood. Cloth diapers or disposable, breastfeed or formula, organic diet or not, homeschool, public or private school, curfew or not, when to date, what they can wear, what movies they can watch, and the list goes on and on.  On the above, I believe each parent should decide what is best for their children.  I was so hard on myself for months with Asher trying to be "perfect."  The job of a parent is overwhelming.  It's a task full of mistakes and learning experiences, but it is also the most important thing we will ever do.  We have a one year old, Asher, and a baby girl on the way.  We will raise these kids that will one day grow up and be in this world.   Carrying a burden too heavy to carry on my own, I finally went to prayer, asking God what He desires of me.  Asking for wisdom.  He has shown me what I believe to be truth based on His word and the Holy Spirit.  

I want to share mine and Peyton's heart for our family because we want to encourage others in their parenting and marriage. 

Why? Take a look at these scriptures:

"See how very much our Father loves us. For He calls us His children, and that is what we are."  

1 John 3:1 

"Let us be glad and rejoice and let us give honor to Him.  For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and His bride has prepared herself." Revelation 19:7-8

Over and over through the bible, God is shown as Father and Husband.  He tells us we are His children and His bride.  He reveals Himself through the family, and when the family is distorted, so is our view of God.  Satan knows this.  He is working to destroy the family unit, and if you look at this world and our nation, it's working.  Through lust, pornography, selfishness, work, time, idols, addictions, money, etc... our families our being ripped apart.   We are told to give up when things get rocky and to base our marriages on what we feel that day.  We hold our standards to what we see through media and wonder why families are broken.  Satan is tearing at the heart of what God set up to be joy.   How can we see God the Father as a true protector and provider if our earthly father has left us heartbroken? But this is where Peyton and I feel we must be different as a family.  Our decisions do not only affect us, they affect our children and grandchildren, their future spouses and friends.  What we leave with our children gets passed to generations.  

So what do we want to leave them?

First, our children will know our family is serving God.  Peyton and I have given our children to God, promising to teach them His word.  We want to show them how Jesus loves others.  Humility.  Compassion.  Selflessness.  Serving others the way Jesus did.  We want them to know how to love God in a world that mocks Him.   To love those who do wrong to them and forgive others.  We want our kids to give glory to God in their success and failures.  To trust in Him for everything.  To be set apart from this world.   We believe our children will face much more persecution than we have had to deal with, and we choose to arm them for battle, with scripture as a sword. They must see our example, starting now. If we want to raise warriors for Christ, we must first show them how by our lives.   We must shower them with prayer and scripture.  We must be different than others around us.  We must guard our eyes and ears from what we watch.  We must step out in faith when God calls us to, and trust in Him when troubles come our way.  We must run the race full speed and use our talents for His kingdom.  They will see our actions, not just our words.   

Secondly, our children will know that Peyton and I love each other.  Peyton and I have vowed to never even speak the word 'divorce' (even jokingly.)  We are far from perfect, and have had our share of arguments (especially in the stress of a crying newborn.)  However, we take care to guard our marriage.  So what does this have to do with how we raise our children?  I love my son and unborn children more than words can say on here.  It's a motherly love that goes so, so deep.  But I must love Peyton first.  My kids will grow up one day and leave, but Peyton and I will still have each other.  If our kids see stability and a selfless love in their parents' marriage, then we have taught them more than words can teach: How to love and be loved.  They will never fear that one day their mom or dad will leave.  We are a team, and we raise them as a team.  A happy marriage makes for a happy home for our children.  A selfless marriage shows them how Christ loves His church. 

Finally, our children will know we love them.  I will stop my chores for the day and take them outside to play.  We will play in the living room floor when we are exhausted.  We will go on adventures, even if we have to eat pb&j's for  a week.  Peyton and I will listen to them when they want to talk, and cuddle with them when they want to cuddle.  We will build forts, go bowling, order pizzas, and play hide and seek. We will play even when we don't think we have time.  They will see how God loves His children.  How He picks us up when we fall and dusts off our knees.  How He giggles at our ignorance and disciplines us when we need it.  How He loves us even at our worst.  

Once our children are out in the world, they will make their own decisions, and we will love them regardless.  But for this short time, God has entrusted them to us....and we will make it count.